Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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