dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
