Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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