you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
