There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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