its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
