My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
