Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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