I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
