i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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