I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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