Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
