How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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