butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
