what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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