Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
