Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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