I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
