It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
