He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
