you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
