Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
