weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she pinky promised me she was 18
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
