pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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