so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
