I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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