i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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