Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
