i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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