I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize