"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
