Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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