why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
