I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
