you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
