Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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