I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
