i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
