you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
