She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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