Non-Jews are for practice
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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