I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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