I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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