I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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