I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
