just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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