Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
