names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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