i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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