He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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