just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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