Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
