his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
