Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
