hell yes lets make some ravioli
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize