god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
