Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I bet he comes in French.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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