So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
