he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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