apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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