That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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