I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Its about making memories worth repressing
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
